I had just brushed my teeth and was heading to the kitchen
to prepare breakfast when I bumped into Oga, his face looked pale and I felt he
was still shocked over his wife’s reaction yesterday at the police station.
‘who sigh’ I said to myself as I walked past him as though he didn’t exist.
Madam had asked me to stay and who was he to say otherwise, silently I praised
my madam, she really knew how to coil her husband round her little finger. I
stepped into the kitchen and was surprised to see madam at the sink washing
vegetables, I made to collect them from her but she raised her hand in silent
refusal and I stepped back. I looked around the kitchen for what to do next
then remembered that I didn’t do my primary duties of the morning, sighing
deeply I said.
“Madam shebi I fit carry ya pikin go school today?” I asked
eager to continue my former chores.
My madam turned to look at me and shook her head.
“My son is at my sister’s place.” She said silently.
I nodded quietly and bit my fingernails which were rather
dirty. Suddenly we heard the door bang hard and moments later the motor engine
fired to life which signaled that Oga was on his way to work. The tension eased
a bit and I dragged a small wooden kitchen stool and sat on it taking in deep
breaths at intervals, I was shocked when madam asked.
“Senorita! Who is the other woman?”
Somehow I had known that madam had brought me back into her
employ to question me about the woman Oga had in his life and even while I
decided to sit back and wait for Madam’s next line of action, I wasn’t prepared
for her question.
“Madam I no know ooo.” I innocently replied.
“Do you know that if I never dropped the charges against
you, you would rot in prison? Are you ready to tell me who the other woman is
or should I force it from your mouth?” She asked.
I stared at the woman who I overpowered yesterday in a small
wrestling contest and almost laughed in mockery but I couldn’t, there was
something else masked within her façade that made me doubt she still had blood
running in her veins. She looked like a killer.
“Madam, wetin I know be say…the woman get big booby and her
yash come small.” I reply.
“Is she light skinned or dark skinned?” Madam asked further.
“For where? Bleach wan kill am…na so so cream full her body,
she no yellow reach me.” I answered, boasting with my complexion.
“I need more details, how did she speak? Is she mature? How
old do you think she is?”
“Errr…she fit don near thirty five, she get open teeth and
she dey talk like pesin wey nose dey pain am.” I blurted.
At that instant, the knife madam held in her hands fell to
the ground in a clattered heap, I rushed to pick it up but she pushed me away.
Puzzled by her attitude, I move away.
“Does she have a dimple?” Madam asked.
“She no get pimple.” I supplied.
“I didn’t say pimple, I said dimple…the slight indentation
on the cheek or chin.” Madam explained, showing me by placing her finger on her
cheeks and pressing it low so that I could understand.
“Yes…madam she get for her two face…” I said, gesturing with
my fingers as I placed them on my cheeks.
My madam held the kitchen sink for support and I saw her
eyes water, after a while, she walked out of the kitchen but came back later
with her phone. Shoving the electronic device in my face, she showed me the
replica of the woman whom I had described.
“Ehnn madam!” I exclaimed “As I tell you how the woman be,
na so you go snap am picture?” I ask dumbfounded.
“What rubbish are you talking about?” Madam asked me
sounding irritated.
“Na the woman be dis na…na she.” I exclaim.
Madam stare at me in the face and shake her
head in disbelief; right there before me, she dials a number.
“Hello Clara, where are you? Can you come to the house now? Okay…I’ll
appreciate it. No…my husband isn’t home, I just really need a friend right
now…. I think he’s cheating on me…please come over to my place….yes, an hour is
fine.” My madam cried as she spoke on the phone.
As soon as she dropped the call, she straightened herself
and stared at me in the face.
“I just called her…” Madam said
“Who?” I asked.
“The good for nothing woman who has been dating my husband.”
I couldn’t be more shocked, ‘there were miracle workers in
this house!’ I said to myself.
“Wetin? You call am?” I asked with mouth hung open.
“My husband introduced her to me as a girlfriend of an old
friend of his, I can’t believe I was gullible to let them deceive me. How long
has this affair been going on? One year? Two?” madam spoke, more to herself
than to me.
“Ehh ya…sorry.” I said, trying to sound sympathetic.
Madam gave me a sharp look and I was once again scared of
what lurked beneath her gaze.
“Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned. Senorita! I need
your fighting skills.” Madam said.
“Fighting skills?” I echoed.
“It is no news that you are a very big fighter, after the
‘jack-up’ you gave me yesterday, I want
you to do something for me.” Madam echoed.
I nodded, priding myself in the fact that even madam had reason to fear my fighting skill.
“First things first…..” Madam started.
*****
The doorbell rang as the clock struck eleven that morning
and it did for a while but I didn’t answer, I and madam had hatched a plan that
would make even the devil shiver in fear. After a while, the bell stopped and
there was a loud knock at the door, I didn’t reply, I was kneeling behind the
bar waiting for my prey to step into the house. As we had thought, Clara walked
into the house speaking softly and calling out my madam’s name. I recognized
the voice instantly, 'it was really the other woman and she had arrived.' After
seeing no one in the sitting room, she went further to open the doors leading
to the bedrooms. Sighing in frustration, she exclaimed aloud.
“Where is this woman? Why would she call me to her house and
not be here. Sandra! It’s me Clara, are you home?” She called.
Nothing. No reply. The woman went to the kitchen and came
out again to the sitting room. She sat on the sofa and waited for madam while
dialing her phone. Immediately she dialed, Madam’s phone which sat not too far
from the sofa began to ring.
“Stupid woman…so this is where she kept her phone. I have
more important things to do rather than sit here all day and wait for her. Or
wait a minute…did she go out to commit suicide?” she laughed and mocked
“Imagine a woman whose husband can never love her, good riddance to bad
rubbish.”
I was already sweating as I crouched behind the bar, it was
time to pounce and I wasted no time. I jumped out from the bar space and landed
a few feet away from the unwanted visitor. Her screams could be heard miles
away as she almost had a heart attack as soon as she saw me. Now, I’ll explain
my appearance and how I looked.
Before Clara came visiting, madam and I hatched a plan, it
involved a little drama. Madam was to leave the house as though she had gone to
quickly get some drinks for Clara in the supermarket while waiting for the
right moment to come back home innocently as though oblivious to what was
happening. I in turn was to wait for Clara to show up so that I could beat her
up. My alibi would be that I was at the market at the time Clara came in, thus,
dispelling any suspicions of being closely linked to the occurrence which was
deemed to take place at the house. We had agreed to scare Clara in the most
unfamiliar way and have her beaten badly by a frighteningly unknown specimen which
would be-me. This was to make sure that she doesn’t recognize me when asked
questions after the incident. Early this morning, as soon as madam and I left the
kitchen, we proceeded to the spare room where madam proved her skills as a gifted
make-up artist. Within fifteen minutes, she had transformed me into a very vile
looking creature with red teeth and bloodshot eyes. With professional make-up,
madam made me look hideous and unrecognizable and as soon as a mirror was
placed before me, I almost ran for my life. I looked terrifying and every inch
a vicious monster. She applied something black on my body and tore pieces of
rags and clothes, transforming them into a suitable costume. I couldn’t
believe my horrible transformation, I was aghast by the results.
“Jump out from the bar and attack her like a ferocious
animal, make sure you tear her into pieces.” Was madam’s command as she stared
at me.
I nodded, eager and willing to please.
“Then, as soon as you are through, run back to your room and
wash yourself fast. I will place the market bag in your room filling it with
yam and red oil. Emerge later from the back door as though you are just coming
from the market but not to worry, I would be back by then and ofcourse I’ll act surprised
when she tells me that she was attacked by a horrible creature.” Madam laughed.
I joined in too.
“How you wan make I beat am? Make I give am chance to run
comot?” I asked
Madam gave me a very threatening stare.
“I am not paying you fifty thousand naira for nothing, beat
her till she’s almost unconscious, then run away. She will not be able to tell
what attacked her and to anyone, she’ll sound paranoid.” Madam explained.
I had nodded in agreement. Now, as I stand before the woman
in question while listening to her loud screams, I jump on her and attack. I bite and beat the life out of her body, in the process, most of my make-up
smear on her clothes but I don’t care, I was eager to please my madam. Clara
kicked, screamed and tried to fight back but in the end, she fell limp, I
thought she was dead except for the small moans she made with her mouth.
Suddenly, I heard the door crash into the sitting room and turned to see some
hefty men rush towards me. Survival instints take over as I jump over the sofa
and run towards my room and opening the door I run inside for safety. The men
were fast, they followed me in and tried to grab me, I screamed and shouted
loud as I grabbed my window’s burglary proof and climbed to the window top in
panic. Turning back to face the men, I couldn’t believe my eyes, my room was
littered with all manner of make-up and smeared with the paint my madam had
used on my body. At that moment, my madam walked in looking forlorn and
dejected. Facing the men, she said;
“Thank you for coming…I can’t believe I had a pervert in my
home all these while. Even when my husband locked her up for hawking my son on
the streets of Lagos, I still pitied her and brought her into my home again. Now, look at what she has done to my
friend, the poor lady can…cannot speak, and I fear she has a stroke.” She
cried.
My mouth hung open in shock and the effects of the shock
must have affected my hands as I didn’t know when I let go of the burglary iron
rail and landed on my bottom. All the men rushed at me and using
some clothes they found scattered on my bed, they bound me hands and feet. I
couldn’t be more astounded, suddenly my Oga storms into my room and demands an
explanation as regards the incident in his house. Madam runs to him and hugs
him in tears while one of the men proceeded to tell him what transpired.
“We think this young lady is possessed sir. We were sitting
at the beer palour when your wife ran to meet us screaming that she heard a
scream in the house. Apparently, she was on her way to the store to buy
drinks for her friend who she was expecting when she realized she had forgotten
her purse at home and on returning to retrieve it, she heard screams coming
from her house. Scared over what could be happening, she ran to us for help and
we rushed to the rescue only to see a horrible looking person attacking her friend, we
are relieved to find out it’s just make-up paint. We chased her down and here
we are.” Said the man.
“Honey…she took all my make-up…she used them for this…this
evil thing. I’m so sorry I brought her back home…I feel so ashamed of myself.”
My madam cried
My mouth hung open, ‘wasn’t this a pact with madam? Why was
she acting like we weren’t in this together or…. did she set me up?’ I watched
my Oga’s face contort as he advanced towards me in a bid to strangle me but was
restrained by the men.
“We will take her to the police station…they’ll take it from
there.” Said another of the men.
They bundled me up and carried me away and as I was carried
past madam, I heard her mutter for my ears only.
“Thank you for being my means to a triumphant end.”
I shook my head in disbelief and at that instant I knew that
I had been taken for a ride; how did I expect a woman whom I had roughly placed her child on the streets of Lagos and in the same bid, kissed her husband, a
truth she knew already, forgive me easily. At that moment I realized that I had
to wisen up, Lagos wasn’t for kids and if I ever managed to escape my present
predicament alive, it would be a total revamp for me. As I was bundled out of
the house, I shouted aloud in frustration;
“Lagos…chai! Na like dis we go dey dey?”
Adaeze, this entire series is hilarious. I cann't wait for the next installment.
ReplyDeleteI also noticed a few errors. Try giving your work to someone else to proofread. Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bella. I will try to give my work to someone to proofread though I write and post at the same time. Will figure a way out in the nearest future. Thanks for reading.
DeleteHahahahaaaaaaa. Welldone Ada. I'm loving this. Senorita is beyond foolish. How did she expect her madam to sweep all she had done under d carpet? Eager to see how she'll get out of this.
ReplyDeleteEky
Exactly my point Eky! Thanks for being an avid reader. God bless uuu
Delete