LAGOS WAKA!

Happy New Year friends! I am so sorry that I didn't stick to posting on the 13th as I promised. Welcome to a new year of opportunities and I hope we'll continue reading and writing this series together. It's a brand new beginning and I hope to keep my posts coming on a weekly basis...hopefully Mondays. Do enjoy the 'Lagos Waka' and tell me what you think. God bless you and do have a splendid new week...xoxo

‘Azonto..azonto…azonto

Watch me do my azonto…’

I kept replaying this song in my head as the bus skidded down the road. ‘Lagos!’ I breathed in relief. Finally, I was enroute to the land of no return and I quickly swore under my breath, ‘Even death no fit carry me comot for my Lagos.’

I had successfully escaped with the money Oga had paid the boys and I didn’t waste much time as I quickly hurried out of the bushes to the major road hoping to see something or someone  who could help me. As luck could have it, the first rickety car I saw stopped for me. I quickly asked the driver if he was on his way to Lagos but he shook his head and offered to take me to the Lagos bus Park.

Now, here I am, seated beside the driver of the fourteen seater bus, humming the ‘Azonto’ song in frenzy. Seated beside me is a man whose face reminds me of my primary school teacher, he was wearing a small shirt and has a neck tie choked up on his throat. I envied the man beside me because he didn’t have to move his legs to and fro whenever the driver had to change gears.

We had driven some miles when my eyes closed in sleep, I dreamt briefly of Lagos. I was chasing a fast moving bus as the conductor kept screaming at the top of his lungs. I woke up shortly in sweat, murmuring the word ‘Lagos’ but stopped when I noticed that the passengers in the bus were screaming at the top of their lungs, the driver quickly tried to maneuver the vehicle. I was alarmed to find out that the driver had lost control of the vehicle. He was driving in a zig-zagged manner while trying hard to control the steering.

“Witch…Mammy water…destroyer….” Where the words of some women at the back of the vehicle.

“God deliver us oooo…” Were other passengers screams.

The driver took control of the vehicle again and the bus steadied.

“Ah! Wetin happen?” I turned to ask the man at my side.

As I turned to him, I noticed that he was frowning at me which made him the carbon copy of my primary school teacher.

“You be fool…idiot!” Spat the man.

“Me? Idiot? Fool? Wetin I do you na?” I asked confused.

“See de ashawo…” Said one of the women at the back of the bus.

“Ehh shh…no call me dat name again…if you try am?” I warn.

“Wetin you go do ehn? Wetin you fit do?” Shouted another of the women.

“I go tear ya cloth oooo…no try me ooo..” I scream in warning.

My primary school teacher’s carbon copy suddenly shouted.

“Driver…stop this bus.”

“For wetin na?” Asked the driver.

“You dey pretend like say you too dey drive ehn? When dis gial dey totori u so…e remain small make you jam tree. See as you almost cause accident for us. Abeg stop, make dis gial move go back.” Shouted my primary school teacher’s carbon copy.

“Wetin you dey talk, na me first everybody for hia enter park, nobody fit push me commot.” Senorita shouted angrily.

“Ehhnnn…if you come enter park before all of us nko?” Shouted another passenger.

“If you say you no be witch wey wan cause accident, why you come choose to siddon for front?” Asked one of the women.

“Why I no go siddon for front, I wan see dey road wey go carry me reach Lagos na. Abi na craze dey worri una?” I challenge.

“Stop dis bus driver…we must to settle dis witch matter before we move. Abi she don use juju touch you? I see as your hand touch her booby…” Said my primary school teacher’s look-alike.

“You blind so? No be gear I dey touch?” The driver spoke up in defensive.

“Shut-up dia…driver, oya park! When she dey sleep for driver body, she no know say na distraction? Witch!” Spat another woman.

I had had enough, I climbed out of my seat and scrambled to the back of the bus, waking up one of the passengers who had been asleep since we left the park. My nails grasped the bus seats as the bus moved wildly down the road.
Everyone shouted, bus was in an uproar. Suddenly the driver stopped the vehicle but I had reached one of the woman with the loud mouth. Not waiting for any excuses, I grabbed the loud mouthed woman by the hair and fought her with all my strength, she was no match for me but the woman beside her was really strong, she pulled me down and dragged me hard. I fell to the ground of the bus and kept fighting, before I knew it, everyone was either slapping or beating me. I heard the passenger who had been sleeping since we left the park ask what my sins were,

“This gial na witch…I don look am for eye before…dis no be her first time. Na so we  dey move gegently for road ooo… this gial come pretend like say she dey sleep ooo, before we say jack, she fall for driver body, driver come dey romance am for bus ooo… dis gial na accident witch…” Shouted my primary school teacher’s carbon copy.

“Throw-way de gial for road abeg…I get husband and pickins for house…I no wan die premature…” Shouted one woman.

The bus door was dragged open and I was pulled out of the vehicle, kicking and screaming..

“Una no go stop me to go Lagos! Which kain tin be dis na? I don pay my transport money for park, una no fit throw-way me for road…I no be witch!!!” I screamed in alarm.

I was tossed to the ground hurriedly and I weakly watched as the passengers of the bus scramble into the bus. I could barely stand, my clothes had been torn and I felt blood ooze from my left cheek. Unable to stand and too weak to struggle, I pass out…