Wednesday, July 3, 2013


For the umpteenth time in my life, I stood humiliated, I couldn’t believe it! Oga stared at my body and hadn’t flinched in anyway. The pain was too hard to bear, wasn’t I good enough? Weren’t my hips bigger than those of his wife and mistress put together? I still stood and gazed at him in wonder while I felt the angry breath of his concubine heavily on my neck.
“Who the heck are you?” The woman shouted, sending me stares of bitterness and anger.
The words hung on my mouth as I took in short gasps of air, I had disgraced myself beyond words.
“Err…i…” I stammered, clearly scared and in confusion.
“Baby…this girl needs to be sacked.” The lady said, venom dripping from her voice.
“Sacked? She is the best thing that has ever happened to my wife. What do I tell my wife when she returns? That she packed her bags and left? C’mon baby…let’s not get into this.
“I won’t share you with anyone, least of all a common pathetic house help… see how she readily shed her clothes for you? She is not to be trusted, this girl is a temptress.”
“You know I only have eyes for you my love…no one else.” My Oga cooed.
“That’s what you said when your parents forced you to marry that stinking wife of yours…I can’t be your side chick forever. I need you with me permanently.” The lady whined.
I still stood there gazing at the ground and counting my toes, my body was already slick with sweat and glistening and despite the air-conditioning, I was hot.
“Will you get out of my sight?” Shouted my Oga in fury.
I scampered out of the sitting room leaving my heap of clothes where I shed them. As soon as I entered my room, I locked my door and did a little breathing exercise, my body shook like mango leaf. Unable to contain what had just happened in the sitting room, I walk to the full length mirror on the wall of my room and access myself.
Tall graceful body, fair skin, dark brows, full voluptuous figure, lovely round eyes….’what didn’t Oga like, in my figure?’ I asked myself while inspecting my body closely at the mirror. I sigh and ponder deeply, I had to make Oga want me but what do I do? Muttering loudly I say to my reflection.
“Oga never know you ooo…im tink say na pikin you be…e neva see you before in action…Senorita! You don land Lagos…abi you want make yawa gas for ya side? Na chick you be so!”
Nodding in excitement and remembering an old tune I used to sing as a child, I whistle and walk towards my wardrobe in an attempt to get a change of clothes.
Even after picking up my Oga’s child from daycare, Oga and his concubine were still locked up in the master bedroom. Throwing all thoughts of them behind me and concentrating on my plans to seduce my Oga, I hurriedly prepare lunch of yam and egg sauce, the delicacy wasn’t my strongest points as I cooked local foods better. Even after all the cooking tips my madam had taught me, I still poured dawadawa into the egg sauce for flavour. I set the table for Oga and his mistress and I hear their laughter ring as they close the bedroom door and step out into the dining room.
“What did you cook?” Oga’s mistress asks.
I ignore her completely; after hearing her conversation with Oga as regards my dismissal, I knew my madam had the final stay as regards my stay in the house and even my Oga had no say in my matter.
“Am I not talking to somebody?” The lady asks me again.
“Let her be baby…let’s eat and get back to where we left off.” My Oga crooned.
“No…I won’t. Who does this girl think she is?” The lady continued.
I remain mute and stare at her as though I didn’t understand a word of what she was saying.
“I’ve told you babe…let’s eat. Leave her alone, I’ll handle her later.” Oga said.
“No way! I can’t stay in this house with this girl…she has to leave.”
“Who will look after my child? You?” Oga spits in disgust.
“Are you talking to me in such rude tone?” His concubine challenged.
“This is my house and I make the rules here…that’s final.” Oga stated.
“Then I’d better leave.” The lady replied and turns to leave.
“Baby please don’t…you know we planned this for too long now… you’re the reason I took my annual leave at this time.” Oga whined.
“That’s crap…all these while, I have taken insults but none has ever been as grievous as this. I have to leave, when you want me, you know where to find me.” The lady says and walks away.
My Oga sits on the dinning chair, with his head in his hands; I smile to myself and silently applaud my genius. Oga’s mistress walks out of the bedroom with her bag in hand and giving the both of us a short glance, she storms out of the house. ‘Action time’ I say to myself.
“Oga…” I called.
The man sitting before me didn’t reply, his head was still in his hands.
“Taink you…” I said.
This caught his attention and he looked up at me in distaste.
“What was that for? You sent away  my love and you have the guts to say thank you.” Oga spat.
This was the moment I had been waiting for, opportunity comes but once, there is nothing like a needy helpless man in distress and a Senorita ready to the rescue. I walk up to him and quietly touch his shoulder, he quickly shrugs me off.  Refusing to be daunted and remembering my moves of old, I quickly jump on the unsuspecting man, hugging the life out of him and forcing his lips to meet mine. For a second, I think he responded till while my lips were firmly locked with his, I willed myself to open my eyes and stare at his face. I was shocked; my Oga was turning pale and faint, ‘was it my kiss or what?’ I asked myself desperately as I kissed him harder expecting him to respond positively; instead Oga bucked beneath my weight and fell with the chair. I jumped up in fear and watched my tall, domineering and handsome boss struggle to catch his breath. His breath came out in sharp spurts and emitted a kind of choking noise, he clutched his chest in panic and stared at me weakly.
“Na my kiss wan give you stroke so?” I ask as I stare at Oga in disbelief. “You no open mouth well na…if for say you open mouth well, e for no do you like dis.” I continue.
“Get….me…” Oga said, painfully trying to speak.
“Heee…I don die ooo…Senorita! Na you do man dis kain tin?” I wail and run to his side.
“In…inha…inhaler!” Oga cried out.
I didn’t understand, I kept wailing and calling the names of my ancestors in my native tongue.
“Oga…na me do you dis? My own don finish….” I keep wailing.
“In…ha…inhaler…get…my….in…haler.” Oga kept saying.
I didn’t understand.
“Wetin you talk? Oga talk am again abeg…In… wetin?” I continue.
Oga was tired of speaking, he closed his eyes in pain and held his chest as he tried standing up but couldn’t, obviously he was in great agony. I stare at him helpless and dash into the kitchen in search of nothing, I pick up the kitchen knife but drop it again then an idea came to mind as I open the freezer and taking an ice bucket, I filled it up with ice and ran back to the dinning.
“Oga…I carry block come.” I say as I drop the bucket beside him and scooping the ice, I pour some on his hurting chest.
Oga almost had a heart attack, his wheezing rose from grade one to twenty as he stared at me in confusion and alarm. Another idea came to mind as I quickly rush to the table and getting the huge plate of food, I urge him to eat.
“Oga…na work I come so… I sorry say, I wan make we do jolly join body…before madam travel, she tell me say, make I dey give you food wella. Abeg incase you wan die…just open mouth chop small food so if madam ask me if I feed you before you waka go heaven I go tell am say, you chop yam and egg sauce.” I say as I force the yam and egg sauce into his mouth.
Oga was alarmed, he felt weak and quite faint but struggled against the pressure of my hand which tried to force his mouth open.
Suddenly, I hear the tiny patter of footsteps as Oga’s child had woken up from sleep and had walked into the dining room.
“Pat…abeg…no come here…your papa wan die.” I cry as I turn to address the young child who hadn’t mastered his way around speaking.
The boy gave me a confused stare and walked away, heading towards his father’s room.

“Oga…ya pikin get sense …abeg who im resemble? See as I tell am say you wan die, he no even fear…e just waka comot.” I say as I try to force the yam down a struggling Oga’s throat.
Almost immediately the footsteps sounded again and Oga’s child quietly walked towards us and kneeling beside his father, he handed him a small item. Oga quickly took it and used it, I watched in awe as the thing brought out air and Oga inhaled it deeply, taking in short breaths at intervals. Quietly he began to regain himself and pushing me out of his side, he stood to his feet and gazed at me in disbelief. Shaking his head in pity, he held out his hand to his child and the both of them walked out of the dining room. I sat confused, the morsel of yam still in my palm, shrugging quietly, I say to myself.
“Shio…dis wan don heavy for my eye so! See miracle pikin for action…pesin fit use this pikin make money ooo! Senorita you don see sometin for Lagos!

1 comment:

  1. Senorita is more dn silly. She never ceases to amaze me.


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