Thursday, December 19, 2013

Forward ever! Backward never!

“Ahhhhh….” I exclaim as I fall to my kneels in pleas and tears.
Lagos looks at me in disdain and shakes his head in pity.
“So you wan join dem kee me abi? Wetin I do you?” Lagos looks at me and asks.
“You don give me everything Oga Lagos, you buy me bra sef and I nor beg you for am…” I cry hard.
“Kai Senorita!!!” Lagos exclaims and walks towards the hut.
I panic and try to run but find out that I am stuck, my knees cannot move and I can’t even raise my legs, I am trapped again under his spell and I don’t know how to run away from him.
Suddenly I hear the loud blares of goats from inside the hut and my heart stops in fear, ‘did Lagos turn Taiwo and Kehinde to goats?’ I ask myself in panic. This was all too much, I want to go to Lagos, I miss the life there where there exists only people with sane minds, I almost say out loud.
Almost immediately, the two boys emerge from the hut and I breathe feely again and silently thank God that their lives were spared. Oga Lagos followed behind with two heavy whips in his hands, the two boys start crying loudly and every sound they make match animalistic noises. ‘Did Lagos change their voices?’ I ask myself as they saunter towards me.
“Taiwo! Kehinde! Una dey okay?” I ask.
“Maaaaahhhh….” Blurted Kehinde with tears in his eyes.
“Ahhh….Lagos, abeg no do dis to dem na…abeg free dem.” I beg.
The heat emanating from Lagos’s gaze terrifies me as he raised his hands with the whip and begin flogging the boys who dashes off still making animalistic noises. When he returns and stares me in the face, I cringe in fear and apprehension.
“Na wetin you wan make I do you now?” Lagos asks.
“Nothing.” I whisper.
“You think say I dey play? Wetin you want make I do you?” He screams again at me.
“Abeg send me go Lagos…” I wail, not able to take it anymore.
“Na Lagos you dey so.” He screams at me.
“You dey craze? Dis place be like Lagos?” I snap.
“You still get mouth to talk abi? You wan make I turn you to yam?” He asks.
I shake my head in fear, tears rolls down my cheeks and I feel slightly feverish. He looks at me in disdain and shakes his head the umpteenth time.
“You go sleep for outside today, for morning if my temper don cool, I go carry you go inside wia you go show me love.” Lagos says.
“I nor dey like ya mess mess…” I cry.
“Gerrout…which kain mess mess, make I even go drink my pile medicine.” Oga Lagos croaks.
I suddenly have reason to smirk as Oga Lagos walks over to the pot where I had just concluded my nasty business, and using the cup beside the pot, he scoops the potion and drinks it up. Wrinkling his nose disdainfully, he throws the cup hastily to the ground, farts loudly and complains about how everything suddenly tastes like shit and walks into his hut.
I remain on my knees and let the tears fall, ‘how did I get into this mess’ I ask myself, while I feel a drop of rain slam down on my nose, then softly it begins to fall. Something happened that changed my perception of the rain for good, I could miraculously move my legs. I almost screamed in delight, the rain dissolved whatever charm was used on me. I jump up from my position on the floor and dash off wildly into the bushes, a heavy thunder crackled and even though I could hardly see, I was determined to reach Lagos today. I had run quite far and the rain had trickled down to a mere drizzle when I heard voices quite familiar, quietly I tiptoe towards the sound of the voices and I was amazed at what I saw. There in the midst of a very scanty bush were two young men dancing in the rain and singing loudly at the top of their voices, to my utter chagrin, they were the same two boys who had just left Lagos’s hut barely two hours ago and surprisingly, they were not sounding like animals, ‘did the rain destroy the charm used on them too?’ I asked myself as I made a mental note to meet up with them and rejoice along as well. But something held me back, they suddenly started talking.

“Dat Lagos wife don see sha…” Laughed Kehinde.
“Na sooo…e be like say Oga Lagos don do dat im small magic wey e use catch Fredo last week.” Laughed Taiwo.
The two boys laughed in glee.
“Fredo be wan tiff Oga Lagos plantain, na so im hand hook for tree.”Laughed Kehinde.
“Dis him wife no get sense at all. Na so Oga Lagos tell us make we dey do like say im don turn us to goat and she come believe ooo… idiot!” Laughed the Taiwo.
“Which kain? Even Eledo no fit turn pesin to monkey talkless of Oga Lagos wey im medicine no dey work.” Said Kehinde.
I was speechless, these boys and Oga Lagos had played me for a fool.
“How we go share our money na?” Taiwo asked.
“Which money?” Kehinde asked.
“De money wey Oga Lagos give us…shebi him tell us say na im chop de rabbit wey our trap catch.” Taiwo said.
“Yes ooo and he come give us money for compensate, wey am?” Kehinde asked.
“You dey craze? No be you put am for pocket?”Taiwo echoed.
“You dey insult me? You born fool…” Said Kehinde.
The two boys began to fight, quickly I scanned the area in search of the trousers of the boys as they were half naked under the flicker of the rain. Spotting them less than a few feet beside me, I tiptoe and take them from the small shrub they had been tossed on, my search began as I rapidly pulled out the bundle of notes Oga Lagos had given the boys. As quickly as I came, I disappeared as I ran faster than my legs could carry me muttering under my breath. "Lagos forward ever, backward never."

From the blogger
*Just to say a very huge thank you for walking on this journey with Senorita and me, I can’t appreciate you guys enough and I pray that the new year 2014, will never find you wanting in Jesus name. God bless you all so much and much love…xoxo

My series will continue on the 13th of January 2014, thank you for being there and Merry Christmas in advance.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Captivity Redefined!

It was three days already and I was stuck, deep down I knew I had to find a way out of my present predicament. Pushing off the smelling and snoring old loaf from my small frame wasn’t an easy feat as his weight was too much to bear. I look at him again in disdain and almost spit in disgust. ‘How could I have let such an ugly man touch my fine skin?’ I ask myself.
I drag the small wrap on the bed around my shoulders and step outside, the hut is very cool and almost chilled and the surrounding environs stink of faeces and urine. ‘The miserable loaf didn’t own a toilet, he did his business in the bushes’ I sigh to myself and proceed to the corner of his shrine to relieve myself of the yam and palm oil I had eaten late that night. Light penetrated from the full moon above and though it didn’t shine down on me, I look upon it as good luck as I wanted to be a bit mischievous. Sighting one of the huge pots at the corner where ‘Oga Lagos’ reportedly keeps his medicinal herbs which he claims helps in relieving the discomfort of the pile which ails him, I direct my buttocks to its center and empty my bowel, smiling in pleasure at the punishment he was going to get in the morning, when he decides to drink from the pot.
Since the day I stepped into ‘Lagos’ house, I have never stopped feeling as though I had been tricked or misled. ‘Lagos’ is a very cunning man and from the little ways he went about his daily business, it’s clear that he’s as slippery as an eel. I had just released yet another number into the huge pot when I hear whispers.

“He is there…I promise you…he is…” One voice said.
“Hmmm….I know this man, he is the slyest man ever and he might not even be in his house right now…” A second echoed.
“I have been watching his entrance all evening and I can assure you that he hasn’t stepped foot out of that out in three days. Since he got himself a new wife.” The first voice whispered.
“Ah! Iyawo number seventeen…this just makes me want to kill him...”
“But that’s what we are here for, to kill him ofcourse.” Said the first voice.
I gasped and covered my mouth with my palms in delight, ‘this is what I have been waiting for! Senorita is no Sagamu girl but a Lagos chick and nothing can stop that.’ I say to myself as I jump up from the pot and hurry to the direction of the voices. As soon as my footsteps echoe, the voices stop.
“Helloo…na me….I wan join una ooo.” I nearly shout.
“Ahhhh…omoge…u wan kee us? Why you dey shaout na?” The first voice whispered.
“You be fool? You know am before?” The second voice asked the first.
“Ofcourse…na Iyawo number seventeen be dis, in flesh and blood.” The first voice answered.
“Iyawo…wetin you hear?” The second voice asked.
“E be like say she get juju, u no hear her voice? E be like witch own.” Said the first.
“Abeg show ya face…I no get juju.” I plead.
The leaves rustle and from behind the shrubs emerge two young boys, not more than eighteen years of age. I shake my head in disappointment, obviously I wouldn’t be able to rely on the strength of teenage boys over that of a man above his fifties.
“Iyawo…na you be dis?” Said the voice I recognized as the first. “My name na Taiwo and this na my second, Kehinde.”
The second nodded in greeting and kept silent as he stared at me as though he has never seen my kind before.
“You fine sha…” Kehinde mouthed as he whistled rather loudly.
“Shh…you wan make Oga Lagos turn us to yam?” Taiwo shushed his brother. They both didn’t look alike so, I couldn’t tell the difference under the glow of the moonlight.
“Wetin una dey do for hia?” I ask.
“We wan kee dat useless man.” Taiwo replied.
“Wetin im do una.”
“Na de trap wey we set for bush since last week ooo…. We travel go Lagos, when we come back, we see say the meat wey de trap catch no dey deir.” Kehinde supplied.
My brain stood still immediately they mentioned Lagos, I decided to ask if they could take me there.
“Ahhh una don see Lagos wonder? Na Lagos chick I be ooo…Senorita…Senorita the Lagos Chick.” I say proudly and pirouette for them. The two boys look at me in confusion as though I had just blurted out rubbish.
“Wetin dis one dey talk?” Taiwo asked his brother.
“E be like say, Oga Lagos don give am something ooo…. She don high?” Kehinde echoed.
“No….I swear! Na Lagos Chick I be before I come dis place, I wan helep una…”
“You fit?” Taiwo asked.
“She no fit…abeg make we enter dia do our tin, comot!” Kehinde said.
“I fit do anything…shebi una wan kee am?” I ask.
“Kee wetin? We wan find our meat, na if we no see am…na den we fit kee am.” Taiwo said.
I shake my head in disbelief.
“Kee who? We no talk dat one ooo…I no wan destroy pesin! You no hia wetin God talk for Ten Commandments?” Kehinde said, holding his ears and pulling them till they hurt.
“Nor be una talk say una wan kee am?” I ask confused.
“Err…make we go find our meat first of all.” Taiwo says.
I nod in agreement but I’m not satisfied, Taiwo seems to be besotted by me but Kehinde seems to be engrossed in retrieving his useless meat from ‘Oga Lagos’
“Abeg no vex…we go help you…” Taiwo said to me as I bat my eyelashes and stare at him.
“Is he asleep?” Kehinde asked me, rapidly changing to good English.
“Yes.” I nod.
The two lanky boys walk towards the hut, I almost feel a sense of pride as I watch them walk ahead of me and disappeared into the hut I shared with ‘Oga Lagos’. I let out a sigh of relief which I just realized that I had been holding for a while.
“Wetin dem dey find for inside dia?” I hear a familiar voice behind me.

I turned around and stared in shock, it was ‘Lagos’ in flesh and blood, how he got there, I never knew! With eyes wide open and my mouth ready for a scream, I build up sounds in my throat but nothing comes out, not even any of my prepared quotes.

Friday, October 25, 2013


The forest was thick and dark, an owl hooted at the far side of the bushes as it gazed at me from the branch of the tree. My legs had begun to ache and my eyes teared up a little when I realized that I wasn’t close to Lagos at all, instead I had ended up walking further into the bushes. Stamping my foot on the ground like a spoilt child, I cry;
“No be direction I follow so? Why I dey enter inside bush na? Na wetin be dis one wey pesin don land herself so? Lagos! Lagos! If you kno say you no want Senorita, talk am now ooo! Lagos shebi you dey hia me so?” I shout, my hand tugging my left ear in a form of warning.
“Lagos want u….” A creepy voice said behind me.
I startled and turned to face the intruder, it was a man so short that I had to bend to look at him.
“Who be you?” I ask.
“Lagos.” He replied.
“You? Lagos?” Despite my present state, I laughed loud and hard.
“Wetin dey make you laugh? No be you dey call me?” The man called Lagos asked.
“Why I go dey call you?” I ask.
“I hear Lagos for ya mouth now now…” He replies.
“Na you be Lagos?” I ask getting annoyed.
The man looked at me for an instant and threw his head back in laughter. This singular action of his made me angrier as I hissed and started walking away.
“Wia you dey go?” He asked me.
“Lasgidi ofcourse!” I replied.
“Whish one be Lasgidi… no be Lagos u dey so.”
I hiss and continue walking away when I feel a magnetic pull fasten me to the ground, I struggle frantically and try hard to release myself but the more I get fastened.
“Wetin you dey do me so? Who be you? You don use charm catch me for hia abi?” I scream.
He walks up to me and stands right before me, smiling and smirking in delight.
“Run na….wia you be wan run go?”
“Release me…you be witch?” I shout.
“You no see sign board for road? D sign board talk; ‘LAGOS A PLACE OF NO RETURN’ abi you no dey see road?”
“Na lie…I no see lagos a place of no return…wetin I see be ‘This way to Lagos.’” I retort.
“Heeheehaa…you don reach de Lagos wia you dey find, why you dey shout now?”
“Lagos na place wia pesin dey live.” I spit at him and look at  bush irritatingly. “This no be Lagos”
“Omoge…dis place na Lagos and my name be Lagos. You dey call my name wen you enter dis place and you go live hia with me. Shebi you grab?”
“Ahh lai lai…I no fit live for dis bush! A whole Senorita wey dey ready to paint Lagos to sure levels…I no fit live hia.”
“See ya mouth…chai…I get luck sha…see fine girl wey enter my dormot so.” The man said smacking his lips and wagging his tongue.
“Kai…no touch me! No use dat ya hand touch my fine body…” I warn.

“If I touch am nko? Wetin you go do?”
“Touch am na…touch am…if my mama and her witch people no go kee you for hia.”
“Hehehe omoge…abeg I wan see ya mama…I fit even take opportunity ask am make I marry you.”
He reaches out and touches my hand and I cringe, then his beefy palms caress my face. ‘This is not what I want for myself’, I scream inwardly, ‘what have I got myself into?’
“Mama! Make you come save ya pikin now ooo.” I scream loudly, knowing fully well that my mother is no witch and I was just trying to fool him.”
The man’s eyes lit up and he starts dancing around in circles, singing loudly and chanting in a tongue too difficult to understand.
“Mama! Mama!” I screamed and coughed.
“Dis one wey me and witch go fight today…abi you don see babalawo and witch wen dem dey fight? Na me go kee ya mama.” The man said laughing in glee.
I had to stop deceiving myself, my mother would be at the village either sleeping or warming her legs by the fire, the poor woman had never seen witchcraft before and was always terrified of hearing witchcraft tales.
“Oga abeg release me…make I go…na dokitor I find come abeg.” I plead.
“You no call ya mama again?”
“No…e be like say she don sleep.”
“Ahh…witch dey sleep again?
“No…I mean…dem dey sleep. She fit don fly tire for aftanun. Abeg oga make I go….na doki I find come.”
“Me sef I be doki” The man said.
“No be dat kind…I dey talk about dockitor…dat one wey dey hospital for Lagos.”
“Close ya mouth…e no get dockitor wey big pass me.” He said.

I feel like dying because for the first time in the last hour, I know that I am trapped and can do nothing about it. I had been smart all along until now, I had outsmarted the 419 gang who had initially created a façade with the modeling agency, I had escaped from my madam’s house, the prison, psychiatric facility, the booth of the driver’s car but now, in the space of one hour, I have managed to be trapped by one man who’s head hardly measured above my knees.
“Oga abeg make I go…dis no be Lagos na…oga abeg.”
“You go go.” The man replied.
“Thiank you sir.” I answer gratefully still trying to release myself from the invisible grip holding me down to the ground.
“But you go do something for me…” The man supplied.
“Anything sir…”
“You go born pikin for me after you don born finish, I go release you.”
My eyes widen in shock and turning my gaze to face the sky, I shout.

“Baba wey dey up…I don enter kurukere waka and na only you fit hia me…abeg come down!”

Friday, October 11, 2013


I stood at the reception looking hastily at the time and wondering why I hadn’t seen him yet. Atleast to say goodbye. Doctor has been so good to me and after the dream I had of him, I longed for him more and more. I tapped my foot impatiently and was startled by a voice behind me, turning sharply I stare at the person who addressed me.
“Aren’t you going home? Or do you want to live here?” The nurse asked.
“I dey sorry ma…na my dockitor I dey wait for so.”
“What doctor?” The nurse asks.
“Dr. Gerald…” I reply.
“Why are you waiting for him? You have been cleared so, go home.”
“I must to see am before I comot.” I say stubbornly.
“And why is that? do you have an appointment?”
“I no need aplointimen to see my dockitor.”
“Your doctor? What’s that supposed to mean? Dr, Gerald has no personal patients.”
“Na me be him persina pantient.” I reply.
“Go home and stop crowding the waiting area.”
“You no fit tell me wetin I go do, na my dockitor I dey wait so and if you don talk finish, abeg carry yansh pass dat door.”
“Do you have a crush on him?” The nurse asks in surprise.
“I never crush am before.” I reply.
“Do you like him?”
“I wan marry am.” I reply boldly.
The nurse stares at me in disbelief and laughs out loud, I ignore her and fold my hands still waiting patiently.
“Wait a minute…are you not the one that woke up everyone from their sleep with your dream some weeks back? Wait…I can’t believe it….do you mean the doki you were calling in your sleep is Dr. Gerald? Oh my God…wonders shall never cease.”
“Madam nurse…I never give you word ooo, why you dey laugh for me na?” I ask, building up in anger.
The nurse continues laughing till tears fall down her cheeks.
“Abeg ooo…you patients will not kill me. You have been discharged for hours yet you sit and wait for a man that will never be yours.”
“Who talk am? Na you be God? You know wetin God don plan for pesin so?”
“My dear…take my advice, drop those fantasies of yours. Dr. Gerald has all the nurses on this block moaning after him…all of them are clean girls ooo with taste, education, class and quality, not people like you and yet, he doesn’t look our way.”
“Na una problem na…una no fine like me.”
The nurse grips her stomach and laughs loud, tears spill from her cheeks and fall to the ground, another nurse rushes to meet us.
“Can I join in? It’s obvious you’re having fun.” The nurse says.
“Nurse Lilian…” The nurse who I had been speaking with, spoke with laughter in her voice. “This girl won’t kill me, she is in love with Dr. Gerald.”
“What???” Nurse Lilian exclaimed and joined her fellow nurse in laughter.
“My dear, some people just don’t get it. Look at the rag of a girl who wants the Doctor for herself. Someone who, all of us put together never hooked. Can you imagine?”
“Hasn’t she been discharged? Isn’t it time she left the facility?” Nurse Lilan asked.
“Yes ooo, but she’s waiting for the love of her life.” The Nurse replied laughing.
They burst out laughing. I stood there, feigning nonchalance at their words when deep down it was eating me alive. What did they mean by all what they said? Wasn’t I beautiful enough? I turned to stare at the laughing nurses again and somehow, reality dawned on me, they were clean looking ladies, had lovely accents and they had many things I didn’t. The first nurse mentioned education, was it a criterion? Do I need an education to have doctor Gerald all to myself? What of taste? Am I to be tasted too? I really didn’t understand.
“Nurse Lilan let’s get back to work and leave the girl to her dreams, look at someone with no scruples, no taste or class…hmmm wonders shall never cease.”
The nurses left me at the entrance, laughing and snickering. I wasn’t about to give up, I didn’t come to Lagos to get intimidated. Minutes after they left, Dr.Gerald walks into the waiting area. I see him and run to him with joy written on my face.

“Dockitor.” I say.
“Hello Senorita, what a pleasant surprise!”
I smile sheepishly and bat my eyelashes.
“I heard you have been discharged, congratulations.” The doctor said.
I smile again and looked at him with sultry eyes. Dr.Gerald seemed confused, he stares at me again, smiles and says;
“Okay dear, I have to get to work.”
I stand rooted to the spot ‘what was I to say?’ My mouth couldn’t form the words but my heart could and as the nurses had said, ‘nothing moves this man’ I might as well as find my way out of this place. The doctor turns to walk away but was halted by Musa one of the messengers.
“Oga make I carry ya car go wash…” Musa offered.
“Oh…yes, thank you. Here are the keys, please make sure the tires are washed with plenty of water, the roads were too bad today.”
“Yes sir.” The driver said and dashes off.
The doctor waves at me and walk into the facility in easy strides, my legs remained glued to the ground. My mind told me to chase him but my feet didn’t budge. Quietly I walk out of the facility but stopped short when I saw Musa preparing to wash one of the cars. I knew it was his car because he had just given Musa the keys a few moments ago. Musa hastily ran with an empty bucket to the tap which stood some miles away. I walk to the car, touching the smooth panes of the powerful vehicle, I had just glided my palms to the back of the car when I realized that booth was open. Realization surged through me and I acted fast, hurriedly I pushed open the booth of the car and climbed into it, pulling the lid down though not slamming it shut but leaving enough air to enable me breathe.
Musa comes back moments later with the bucket of water and instead of washing the car, he cleans it. I hold my breath and pray that he doesn’t open the booth to find me lying in there. Ten minutes later he was done. It was as though my prayers weren’t going to be answered as Musa started opening the doors wide and banging them shut as though he was playing a game, his footsteps neared the booth area and I held my breath but a nurse shouts his name.
“Ma!” He answers and scrambles away, not after he had slammed the booth of the car shut, leaving me in complete darkness and with little air to survive.

“Shio…” I whisper into the darkness.
I think I fell asleep because I woke up when the engine purred to life, smiling inwardly, I felt the car pull away from its parked space and glide away. We really didn’t encounter traffic on the way and I was happy to be with my doctor atlast. The ride took too long and I knew that it was nearing evening. Even though I never knew the exact time we left, I knew we would have left at some hours after noon. ‘Why was the doctor driving too fast?’ I asked myself as my head spun in dizziness. My stomach growled and rumbled and I threw up in the booth of the car, promising myself that I’d wash it as soon as we get to his place. I feel sick and doze off again, waking up hours later when the car slowed down to a stop. I hear voices and smile as I try to stretch my already limp muscles in the booth.
Suddenly, cold air hits my face as the booth opens and the man who opens the booth shouts in shock.
“Who be dis? Wetin you dey do for hia?” The man asks.
I study the man before me who bore no resemblance to my doctor and speak weakly,
“Na dockitor I follow come.” I reply.
“Which dockitor…chei…dis gial wan land me for trouble. Na wia you for see my moto? Abi you be witch?” The man asks in fear.
“Nooo I no be witch oga, na wen Musa dey wash dockitor moto, me come use opportunity, enter am.”
“Dockitor? Abegi…no land me for wahala…comot for this moto kia kia.”
I come out from the car and stare into the darkness of the night.
“Na dockitor I dey find so.” I say.
“Gerrout of hia…dis no be any dokitor place. Na my madam mama I go carry from Lagos ooo, she been dey facility for two years, dis na de first time she dey return. Dem wan start party for inside and if dem know say you enter booth follow me reach house ehn…my own don finish.” The man exclaims.
“Wait ooo…which wan be say, you carry ya madam mama come from Lagos? No be Lagos be dis?” I ask.
“Which kain? Na Sagamu we dey so.” The man says.
“Oga talk true…na wia we dey again?” I repeat my question.
“You don deaf? I say na Sagamu we dey…”
“Senorita oooo….yeeeeeehhh!” I scream.
“Shurrup….oya comot for hia.” The man orders, pushing me away from the car.

“Wetin I do myself now…Lagos wey I struggle come so. For seven years I save money come Lagos, na so e no even reach one day, pesin carry me comot for promise land.” I cry, stamping my foot on the ground.
“Abeg…go outside. No be for hia you go regret ya waka. I no want make my madam see you.”
The man pushed me out to the gate, shoving me outside and into nowhere. I stood there, scared, tired and hungry, all because of my love for Dr. Gerald. I knew I had been stupid, Musa had a lot of cars to wash and I entered the wrong one ‘how was I going to get back to Lagos?’ I asked myself.
The night was cold and unwelcoming, I looked up to see a signboard which read: ‘This way to Lagos’ and a surge of pure hope filled my heart, little did I know that not all places called Lagos were really Lagos. Sighing in resignation, I prepared my mind mentally for the walk back to the city of Gold, murmuring under my breath;

“Lagos na me get am…I no fit to leave am lie lie.”

Tuesday, September 24, 2013


The customary lunch was served in a small plate, I was grateful for the meal knowing well that I couldn’t expect same on the streets. As soon as the plate was placed before me, one of the patients sitting beside me suddenly lurched for my plate and grabbed it with both hands, tipping her head back, she drank up my egusi soup. I nearly ran mad as I screamed, ‘Ahhhhh’ with my hands on my head. I jumped on the patient and wrestled her to the ground. By the time I was through, the nurses had arrived and grabbed me, binding me with chains while I watched the woman I had just beaten bleed in unconsciousness.
“She don kill am.” Shouted one of the nurses as they dragged me out of the refectory and locked me up in closed quarters.
I screamed loud and beat my hands on the wall till it grew numb, finally I crouched down and dozed off. I was stirred awake an hour later by rough hands which dragged me to an unfamiliar office. I was tossed to the ground like a bag of grass and left there still bound in chains. The door opened moments later and a woman entered the office, she didn’t seem to mind that I was there, she just dialed a number on her phone and listened to it ring, when the receiver picked, she spoke quietly.

“Come here, now.”
I looked up to see if she was addressing me but to my relief she wasn’t, minutes later, one of the nurses came in and greeted the woman, looking solemnly on the floor and shuffling her feet as though scared to face the woman.
“Who is this specimen?” The woman asked.
“Dr. Eliz it’s the lady that almost killed patient Joy, the noisy…” She started but was cut short.
“Is this my case? Is she supposed to be under my watch?”
“No ma…it’s actually Dr.Gerald’s case but the director says he doesn’t seem to be making progress with her case.
“It’s written here that she is due to be released in one week.” Dr Eliz snapped.
“Yes she was…that was until she almost killed Joy the noisy…”
“I will not take this anymore, no one has the right to add more work to my pile…”
“But the director ma…”
“Leave my office at once.” The Doctor ordered.
I watched the nurse scramble out of the room and I watched the doctor, waiting to see if she’d do something horrible to me. From the look of things, she was going to and I would be unable to stop her.
“Madam dokitor…abeg make I talk wetin happen.” I said feeling the pain at the sides of my mouth for the first time.
The woman didn’t reply, she opened her laptop and begun typing rapidly.
“See…madam, I no know wetin carry me come hia ooo…na my madam…if I catch dat woman I swear…I go kill am.” I said before realizing that I had just contradicted myself. “I mean say…I go beat am…no…I go give am word.”
Still no reply.
I sniff back my tears and stare at the woman before me silently, suddenly, a knock is heard at the door and my doctor steps in, looking as dashing as ever. I spring to my feet but was held back by the chains bounding my feet.
“Dockitor! My dockitor!” I cry in a plea.
My doctor ignored me and faced the female doctor before him.
“What is the meaning of this Dr. Gerald?” The woman asked in fury.
“I am very sorry about this and I promise it wouldn’t happen again.” Dr. George replied.
“Why would management send your patient to me knowing well that I have enough patients on my hands?”
“It was obviously done because I wasn’t around at the time she caused the scene.”
“Are you competent at all? I’ve read this lady’s file and for three weeks you’ve been on her case without results. From the tests conducted, she doesn’t seem to have any inherent mental problems, what is taking you so long to finding an absolute cure to whatever her ailment is?”
“Well…it’s a slow and steady process ma’am and I’m doing my best. The incident at the refectory has dragged me back to the draw board, I’ll re-strategize and take up her case again.”
The woman nodded and picking up her phone again, she placed a call, I watched as Doctor Gerald walked up to me and gently unbound my hands and legs.
“Let her be, Dr. Gerald, I’ll call the ward assistants to take her away.” The female doctor said.
“She’s not a criminal and she can walk on two feet, I’d rather we skip formalities.” Dr. Gerald said, his rich voice caressing my ears.
The female doctor nodded and we left her office, heading straight to Dr. Gerald’s office; immediately we walked in he cleared his throat and spoke.
“Senorita, this will be the first and last time you’d ever do such a thing again.” He warned.
“Sorry sir…I no know wetin catch me…na dat woman carry my food.” I begin to explain.
“We’ll start our sessions again and because of you, I’ll stay longer today. I’ll call the nurse to take you for a bathe…you stink. When last did you have a good bath?”
“E don tey since water touch my body…even when water touch am, soap no dey.” I complain.

Minutes later, a nurse leads me away to the bathroom where she scrubs me clean and after drying off, I change my wear to a neater one and walk back to the doctor’s office with the nurse in tow.
As soon as I stepped into the office, I knew something was wrong, the doctor glazed me over with red rimmed eyes and as I sat at my favourite seat, he wasn’t in a hurry to speak.
“Dockitor…you sure say you fine so?” I ask quietly with a hint of concern in my voice.
The doctor stares at me and looks away, apparently ashamed that I saw him in such condition. Immediately my mind tells me that I’m the reason behind his worry, maybe he could be sacked due to my display at the refectory. Falling to my kneels quickly, I plead his forgiveness.
“Docki…abeg no vex…na devil hand dey inside…” I start.
“Stand up Senorita, it’s not you…I’m having some issues at home but I’ll be fine.” He says as he walks up to me and helps me up to my feet.
We stand face to face, eye to eye and gaze to gaze, staring at each other as though for the first time. I feel a warm tingle down my spine and my breathe comes out in shallow spurts, I have never felt this way before. Even as we stood, I look into his eyes and see something I can’t describe, it’s deep and dark like the hooded umbrella and suddenly, not knowing what seize me, I kiss him.

He kisses me back with raw passion which blazes as though from a thick and deep forest. Raising my palms, I caress his face and moan at its softness. ‘Is this me? Senorita? The Lagos chick who was chased away from Janet’s place, sent to prison by her madam and Oga and finally landed in a ‘mental’ home?’ I wonder inwardly.  I can’t let this opportunity slip, I need to impress my doctor…perhaps show him some of my alluring skills and maybe he’ll have me for keeps.
We fall to the sofa and the rapid rip of my dress was heard as doctor Gerald proved that he wasn’t just good with medicine but fumbling as well. His hands trace the curves of my body and worked its way from my breasts to well…that side of me that I loved most. I was in pure ecstasy and the pump of adrenaline surged up to the base of my neck as I screamed in pleasure,

The water splashed on my body and I woke up in sweat, tears and in a drenched state, realization hit me hard as I stare at the nurses around me. Then I knew, it had all been a dream. Shaking my head in regret and moaning in disappointment, I wail;
"Which kain hand dey my life so? Abi na pesin curse me?"

Friday, September 6, 2013

Chains of Craze!

I sat with hand tied above my head. 'Not again' I said too myself; 'Senorita..dis Lagos waka don dey get K-leg oo'
I hadn't been taken to a police station but to a place filled with mad people, I call them mad because the past two nights I have spent in this place almost drove me crazy as men and women screamed and laughed out loud even at the middle of the night. The workers at the institution acted crazy as well as most times they walked past our tightly closed rooms as though we didn't exist. I had been informed earlier that someone was to see me today; someone of great importance; a Tychiatrist...that was the name they called.
As I sat patiently on the bare floor and stared at the empty room, I cringed in fear; what if? Was my line of thought 'wetin dem wan do me for dis place? Abi na for craze cell I go dey?'
My thoughts were interrupted by the heavy metal bolt being unlocked from the outside of my room and once the door opened, I sprang to my feet, hoping that whoever came to see me, also  came to save me as well but the strict face of the man who walked into the room unnerved me.
"Oga abeg...I no do anything! Na dem carry me come hia..." i started but he cut me short by ordering two other men behind him to bring me out of the room. The two men were heavy manhandlers, they didn't care that I felt like crap instead they lifted me up and dragged me out of the room. I screamed loud and kicked my legs at the air, I was scared as to where we were headed. Two minutes later they dumped me in a small room which had no activity except the slowly whirling fan in the room.
"Oga please sir...helep me, na beg I dey so..." I cried.
The men walked out on me and shut the door behind them, I moved to a corner of the room and sitting down on one of the chairs, I cried again. This was the first time I really felt sad in the city of Lagos and desperately longed for home. At my village, I never went without food or shelter, even clothes though ragged, were available. 'Lagos is no man's land and once you have no family or friends, no one cares for you' I thought to myself as I pitied my present state. Shortly, the door opened and someone walked in, I looked up to stare into the eyes of a young man whose kind I have never before seen. Sniffing and wiping my tears with the back of my palms, I get up from the chair and look at him, with my tongue glued to my mouth. He was not just goodlooking but very dapper too, throughout my stay in the city of Lagos, I had never seen his kind on foot; they were mostly seen from the windows of vehicles.
"Hello are you?" He asked, with a lovely accent.
This was the first time someone pronounced my name with grace and composure, others made it sound like 'Sanurita!' but his was different.
"Sirr..." I replied, staring at him like a moron that I was.
Image source:

"Please sit, it's a pleasure meeting you. How are you feeling?" He asked.
I couldn't take it anymore, I started weeping loudly and falling on the floor like one who had been possessed by a demonic spirit. 'How could someone be this kind?' I thought as the tears rushed from my eyes and fell to my cheeks in torrents. He stood up and walked over to meet me, gently he helped me to my feet and retrieving his freshly scented handkerchief from his pocket, he handed it over to me. I blew my nose loudly and after which I shoved the handkerchief into my bra. I saw his eyes light up in surprise but he didn't say anything, rather, he held onto my hand and led me to the chair were we sat facing each other.
"My name is Dr. Gerald, I am a psychiatrist, I am here to make sure you get better." He said.
"Wetin? I no understand..."I started.
"Don't worry about that, I'll try to make you understand but first of all, I want to know all about you. I have studied your files, but I would like to see if you can communicate with me clearly."
"Oga...I no understand de big grammar you dey yarn. You fit talk pidgin?" I asked, clearly confused.
"No...I don't know how to speak pidgin but I could break down my words to enable easy comprehension."
"Complyvision? Dis one na gbege oo..." I murmur.
"This is going to be tough but I can assure you that, we would understand each other perfectly." He smiled.
I smiled back, like the idiot that I was; chiding myself for gushing over him after vowing to keep my hands off men for as long as I live.
"I'll get one of the nurses, she'll translate better." He said.
Taking his phone out of his pocket, I watch his gestures as he quickly dials the nurses number and speaks to her quickly. I am amazed at his mannerisms and at how neatly he looked; his nails were short and clean and his teeth were whiter than any I have ever seen in my life.
The nurse comes in moments later and spoils my 'AHA' moment as her chewing gum sounds smacks hard against my ears. The doctor ignores her lack of manners and goes ahead to give her instructions as to translating for his understanding and mine. We begun talking and I spilled in tears, my predicament and all that I have ever done, it was confession time and I felt keeping secrets unnecessary.
"So, from what you said, it was all your madam's plan from the beginning; she set you up." The doctor said as soon as the last part of my story was translated.
"Yes true talk." I said quietly.
The doctor scratches his head and drags in a deep breath, the nurse looks at both of us and laughs;
"Dr. Oyibo Gerald, please don't be fooled; this is how they all are...liars and desperately looking for ways to escape this facility. You should have seen what she did to her employer's friend, I hear the woman is presently in a state of coma."
"I'll appreciate it nurse, if you excuse us." Dr. Gerald said curtly.
" are new in Nigeria ooo...I know you are a son of the soil but those years you spent practicing psychiatry in the Oyibo world cannot cure the madness of ninety percent of the patients here. I'd advise you to return to the place you were trained and practice there." The nurse continued while smoldering a laugh.
The glare from Dr. Gerald's eyes seemed to scare her away as she left the room.
"Talk Oyibo you be?" I asked.
"No...I'm Nigerian in flesh and blood...heck, I'm not even light skinned." He said with a smile.
"But why you come Naija wen you dey jand before?" It was my turn to ask questions.
"I'm on a brief assignment here in Nigeria." He said then looking at the confusion on my face, he says "I am in Nigeria for short time and I will go back soon." He picked the words carefully, this time.
" wan leave me comot? You wan make I die for hia?" I begin to cry again.
"Shhh...I'll be here for the next two months and I'm sure you'll be out before then." He said.
I nodded in silence and sat quietly till I heard the knock at the door and the two men who brought me to the doctor's office, emerge again.
"Doctor Gerald, are you through with examination?" One of them asked.
The doctor nodded curtly and I turned to him in desperation and a quiet plea in my eyes, I could bear the torture of the room I had been confined to and I knew he was powerless to help me. As soon as the men dragged me away; I screamed at the top of my lungs;
"Dockitor be so you yarn oooo"

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

One mask of trust!

I had just brushed my teeth and was heading to the kitchen to prepare breakfast when I bumped into Oga, his face looked pale and I felt he was still shocked over his wife’s reaction yesterday at the police station. ‘who sigh’ I said to myself as I walked past him as though he didn’t exist. Madam had asked me to stay and who was he to say otherwise, silently I praised my madam, she really knew how to coil her husband round her little finger. I stepped into the kitchen and was surprised to see madam at the sink washing vegetables, I made to collect them from her but she raised her hand in silent refusal and I stepped back. I looked around the kitchen for what to do next then remembered that I didn’t do my primary duties of the morning, sighing deeply I said.
“Madam shebi I fit carry ya pikin go school today?” I asked eager to continue my former chores.
My madam turned to look at me and shook her head.
“My son is at my sister’s place.” She said silently.
I nodded quietly and bit my fingernails which were rather dirty. Suddenly we heard the door bang hard and moments later the motor engine fired to life which signaled that Oga was on his way to work. The tension eased a bit and I dragged a small wooden kitchen stool and sat on it taking in deep breaths at intervals, I was shocked when madam asked.
“Senorita! Who is the other woman?”
Somehow I had known that madam had brought me back into her employ to question me about the woman Oga had in his life and even while I decided to sit back and wait for Madam’s next line of action, I wasn’t prepared for her question.
“Madam I no know ooo.” I innocently replied.
“Do you know that if I never dropped the charges against you, you would rot in prison? Are you ready to tell me who the other woman is or should I force it from your mouth?” She asked.
I stared at the woman who I overpowered yesterday in a small wrestling contest and almost laughed in mockery but I couldn’t, there was something else masked within her façade that made me doubt she still had blood running in her veins. She looked like a killer.
“Madam, wetin I know be say…the woman get big booby and her yash come small.” I reply.
“Is she light skinned or dark skinned?” Madam asked further.
“For where? Bleach wan kill am…na so so cream full her body, she no yellow reach me.” I answered, boasting with my complexion.
“I need more details, how did she speak? Is she mature? How old do you think she is?”
“Errr…she fit don near thirty five, she get open teeth and she dey talk like pesin wey nose dey pain am.” I blurted.
At that instant, the knife madam held in her hands fell to the ground in a clattered heap, I rushed to pick it up but she pushed me away. Puzzled by her attitude, I move away.
“Does she have a dimple?” Madam asked.
“She no get pimple.” I supplied.
“I didn’t say pimple, I said dimple…the slight indentation on the cheek or chin.” Madam explained, showing me by placing her finger on her cheeks and pressing it low so that I could understand.
“Yes…madam she get for her two face…” I said, gesturing with my fingers as I placed them on my cheeks.
My madam held the kitchen sink for support and I saw her eyes water, after a while, she walked out of the kitchen but came back later with her phone. Shoving the electronic device in my face, she showed me the replica of the woman whom I had described.
“Ehnn madam!” I exclaimed “As I tell you how the woman be, na so you go snap am picture?” I ask dumbfounded.
“What rubbish are you talking about?” Madam asked me sounding irritated.
“Na the woman be dis na…na she.” I exclaim.
Madam stare at me in the face and shake her head in disbelief; right there before me, she dials a number.
“Hello Clara, where are you? Can you come to the house now? Okay…I’ll appreciate it. No…my husband isn’t home, I just really need a friend right now…. I think he’s cheating on me…please come over to my place….yes, an hour is fine.” My madam cried as she spoke on the phone.
As soon as she dropped the call, she straightened herself and stared at me in the face.
“I just called her…” Madam said
“Who?” I asked.
“The good for nothing woman who has been dating my husband.”
I couldn’t be more shocked, ‘there were miracle workers in this house!’ I said to myself.
“Wetin? You call am?” I asked with mouth hung open.
“My husband introduced her to me as a girlfriend of an old friend of his, I can’t believe I was gullible to let them deceive me. How long has this affair been going on? One year? Two?” madam spoke, more to herself than to me.
“Ehh ya…sorry.” I said, trying to sound sympathetic.
Madam gave me a sharp look and I was once again scared of what lurked beneath her gaze.
“Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned. Senorita! I need your fighting skills.” Madam said.
“Fighting skills?” I echoed.
“It is no news that you are a very big fighter, after the ‘jack-up’ you gave me yesterday,  I want you to do something for me.” Madam echoed.
I nodded, priding myself in the fact that even madam had reason to fear my fighting skill.
“First things first…..” Madam started.

The doorbell rang as the clock struck eleven that morning and it did for a while but I didn’t answer, I and madam had hatched a plan that would make even the devil shiver in fear. After a while, the bell stopped and there was a loud knock at the door, I didn’t reply, I was kneeling behind the bar waiting for my prey to step into the house. As we had thought, Clara walked into the house speaking softly and calling out my madam’s name. I recognized the voice instantly, 'it was really the other woman and she had arrived.' After seeing no one in the sitting room, she went further to open the doors leading to the bedrooms. Sighing in frustration, she exclaimed aloud.
“Where is this woman? Why would she call me to her house and not be here. Sandra! It’s me Clara, are you home?” She called.
Nothing. No reply. The woman went to the kitchen and came out again to the sitting room. She sat on the sofa and waited for madam while dialing her phone. Immediately she dialed, Madam’s phone which sat not too far from the sofa began to ring.
“Stupid woman…so this is where she kept her phone. I have more important things to do rather than sit here all day and wait for her. Or wait a minute…did she go out to commit suicide?” she laughed and mocked “Imagine a woman whose husband can never love her, good riddance to bad rubbish.”
I was already sweating as I crouched behind the bar, it was time to pounce and I wasted no time. I jumped out from the bar space and landed a few feet away from the unwanted visitor. Her screams could be heard miles away as she almost had a heart attack as soon as she saw me. Now, I’ll explain my appearance and how I looked.
Before Clara came visiting, madam and I hatched a plan, it involved a little drama. Madam was to leave the house as though she had gone to quickly get some drinks for Clara in the supermarket while waiting for the right moment to come back home innocently as though oblivious to what was happening. I in turn was to wait for Clara to show up so that I could beat her up. My alibi would be that I was at the market at the time Clara came in, thus, dispelling any suspicions of being closely linked to the occurrence which was deemed to take place at the house. We had agreed to scare Clara in the most unfamiliar way and have her beaten badly by a frighteningly unknown specimen which would be-me. This was to make sure that she doesn’t recognize me when asked questions after the incident. Early this morning, as soon as madam and I left the kitchen, we proceeded to the spare room where madam proved her skills as a gifted make-up artist. Within fifteen minutes, she had transformed me into a very vile looking creature with red teeth and bloodshot eyes. With professional make-up, madam made me look hideous and unrecognizable and as soon as a mirror was placed before me, I almost ran for my life. I looked terrifying and every inch a vicious monster. She applied something black on my body and tore pieces of rags and clothes, transforming them into a suitable costume. I couldn’t believe my horrible transformation, I was aghast by the results.
“Jump out from the bar and attack her like a ferocious animal, make sure you tear her into pieces.” Was madam’s command as she stared at me.
I nodded, eager and willing to please.
“Then, as soon as you are through, run back to your room and wash yourself fast. I will place the market bag in your room filling it with yam and red oil. Emerge later from the back door as though you are just coming from the market but not to worry, I would be  back by then and ofcourse I’ll act surprised when she tells me that she was attacked by a horrible creature.” Madam laughed.
I joined in too.
“How you wan make I beat am? Make I give am chance to run comot?” I asked
Madam gave me a very threatening stare.
“I am not paying you fifty thousand naira for nothing, beat her till she’s almost unconscious, then run away. She will not be able to tell what attacked her and to anyone, she’ll sound paranoid.” Madam explained.
I had nodded in agreement. Now, as I stand before the woman in question while listening to her loud screams, I jump on her and attack. I bite and beat the life out of her body, in the process, most of my make-up smear on her clothes but I don’t care, I was eager to please my madam. Clara kicked, screamed and tried to fight back but in the end, she fell limp, I thought she was dead except for the small moans she made with her mouth. Suddenly, I heard the door crash into the sitting room and turned to see some hefty men rush towards me. Survival instints take over as I jump over the sofa and run towards my room and opening the door I run inside for safety. The men were fast, they followed me in and tried to grab me, I screamed and shouted loud as I grabbed my window’s burglary proof and climbed to the window top in panic. Turning back to face the men, I couldn’t believe my eyes, my room was littered with all manner of make-up and smeared with the paint my madam had used on my body. At that moment, my madam walked in looking forlorn and dejected. Facing the men, she said;
“Thank you for coming…I can’t believe I had a pervert in my home all these while. Even when my husband locked her up for hawking my son on the streets of Lagos, I still pitied her and brought her into my home again. Now, look at what she has done to my friend, the poor lady can…cannot speak, and I fear she has a stroke.” She cried.
My mouth hung open in shock and the effects of the shock must have affected my hands as I didn’t know when I let go of the burglary iron rail and landed on my bottom. All the men rushed at me and using some clothes they found scattered on my bed, they bound me hands and feet. I couldn’t be more astounded, suddenly my Oga storms into my room and demands an explanation as regards the incident in his house. Madam runs to him and hugs him in tears while one of the men proceeded to tell him what transpired.
“We think this young lady is possessed sir. We were sitting at the beer palour when your wife ran to meet us screaming that she heard a scream in the house. Apparently, she was on her way to the store to buy drinks for her friend who she was expecting when she realized she had forgotten her purse at home and on returning to retrieve it, she heard screams coming from her house. Scared over what could be happening, she ran to us for help and we rushed to the rescue only to see a horrible looking person attacking her friend, we are relieved to find out it’s just make-up paint. We chased her down and here we are.” Said the man.
“Honey…she took all my make-up…she used them for this…this evil thing. I’m so sorry I brought her back home…I feel so ashamed of myself.” My madam cried
My mouth hung open, ‘wasn’t this a pact with madam? Why was she acting like we weren’t in this together or…. did she set me up?’ I watched my Oga’s face contort as he advanced towards me in a bid to strangle me but was restrained by the men.
“We will take her to the police station…they’ll take it from there.” Said another of the men.
They bundled me up and carried me away and as I was carried past madam, I heard her mutter for my ears only.
“Thank you for being my means to a triumphant end.”
I shook my head in disbelief and at that instant I knew that I had been taken for a ride; how did I expect a woman whom I had roughly placed her child on the streets of Lagos and in the same bid, kissed her husband, a truth she knew already, forgive me easily. At that moment I realized that I had to wisen up, Lagos wasn’t for kids and if I ever managed to escape my present predicament alive, it would be a total revamp for me. As I was bundled out of the house, I shouted aloud in frustration;

“Lagos…chai! Na like dis we go dey dey?”